Looking In the Eyes of Love
by seiyo
Summary: Kenshin looks back over what happened in the past.


looking in the eyes of love

A/N: Konnichiwa minna-san! I finally got around to posting this fic. Lets see… this is my first RK fic ever so I hope I did justice to the characters. By the way, italicized words in single quotes correspond to the character's thoughts. C&C's are all welcome.

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin and its characters were all from Watsuki Nobuhiro. The music and lyrics of the song Looking in the Eyes of Love were by Tricia Walker and Kostas Lazarides and the song was performed by The Corrs. 

Looking In the Eyes of Love 

By Seiyo 

Kaoru frowned at the sight in front of her, a worried look on her face. He was stirring in his sleep and sweating profusely when she came back. She just went to the kitchen to get a drink of water. When she got back to their room… Yes, their room, as it has been so for two years now. 

She knelt at his side and gently shook his shoulders while calling his name, attempting to wake him up from his dream. 

Himura Kenshin sat straight up on his futon, his purple eyes gleamed with the soft light of the room. As his eyes focused on his surrounding, he caught sight of Kaoru's worried countenance. 

On instinct, he raised a hand to touch her, checking if she's really there. His eyes instantly softened as realization gradually dawned on him. __'She's here… she's safe…' 

_I wonder should I tell you  
About all the crazy things that I have done  
I've been hiding all my life  
When I should have stayed  
I tried to run...___

The dream was so real. Seeing her dead, a sword pinned on her heart and a cross scar on her cheek… I was all so real. But she's not dead. She's here, bringing him back to reality. Again. She's been doing that task quite often. Whenever he's brooding over things too much… She's there, pulling him back to reality, to where he should be.

He's been wondering lately if he'd ever be able to summon the courage to tell her his past. She has opened herself up to him from the very start and the least he could do is do the same for her. Sure she knows about Tomoe, Saitou, his being the hitokiri and ever about his sensei, but he never did tell her his personal experiences, his training for example. Maybe. Maybe someday he would muster the guts to do just that. It is only fitting, after all. 

She has done so much for him already. She gave him a home, and when he dared to leave it to face something else, she came to get him back 

-FLASHBACK- 

Kaoru was by the river, looking into the night. Fireflies were flitting their wings about her. It was a pretty sight. After a while, Kenshin stepped out of the darkness behind her.

"Kenshin!" Kaoru smiled at the redhead, but her pleased expression faded as soon as she saw his serious features 

"Governor Okubo was killed this morning," he said in a calm tone. 

"Yes… I saw the papers," Kaoru's voice was tainted with confusion as she pondered about where their conversation was leading. 

"The real killer was one of Shishio's followers. I cannot leave Shishio alone after this," there was a slight pause as Kenshin seemed to hesitate before he revealed his intentions, "I'm going to Kyoto."

Silence reigned between the two as the wind blew around them. 

"To… assassinate Shishio Makoto?" Kaoru was the first to break the unnerving silence. 

"No… I don't know… If I had remained as I am now, I would have made good on the oath of not killing anybody anymore. I would fight until I defeat him. But if, as in the fight with Saitou, I have already returned to Battousai… I'm not sure… In my days here, I felt like I had changed from the Hitokiri to an ordinary swordsman… But my fight with Saitou forced me to realize that my innermost heart has not changed. The madness of the Hitokiri still lives inside me." 

Kaoru clapped her hands over Kenshin's shoulders, "But you came back! No matter how close you were to Battousai, you were still Kenshin! The time with Saitou and the time with Jin'eh were the same! It will be alright," she argued with him. 

"No… It's not the same Kaoru-dono," Kenshin tried to explain to her, "With Jin'eh, I became Battousai to save you, and your voice brought me back. But with Saitou, I became Battousai only for the sake of the fight. And so your voice couldn't even reach me. It was like I'm fighting in a different time, in a different era. The difference between the two instances is crucial." 

Kenshin looked into straight into Kaoru's eyes, "When I first met you... even though you already knew I was the Hitokiri Battousai, you kept me from leaving. You said that you didn't care about a person's past. That made me very happy." 

"Kenshin…" 

"But to the government and to Shishio's faction," Kenshin took a deep breath, "to all the people who bear a grudge against Hitokiri Battousai, Battousai is all that I am.  
I cannot allow myself to remain here." 

Kenshin suddenly wrapped Kaoru in his arms in a crushing embrace. 

"Thank you for everything you've done... and farewell," Kenshin whispered to her, sincerity in his voice, "I am a wanderer and I will wander once again."

Kenshin let her go and walked away. Without looking back even once, he disappeared into the darkness.

"Ken…shin…" Kaoru's tears raced down her cheeks as she fell on her knees, "KENSHIN!!!"

-END FLASHBACK-

When he left for Kyoto that day, he never thought that he would ever come back. That was one of the hardest things that he ever had to do, to leave without ever looking back, for fear that all his resolve might break.

Well he did come back. Kaoru followed him all the way to Kyoto, and when he had finished what he had to do, she herded him back home to Tokyo, along with Sano and Yahiko, people he now referred to as his family.

_I was searching for an answer  
In a world so full of strangers  
But what I found was never really enough  
Now that I've found you  
I'm looking in the eyes of love  _

A family. He never thought he'd have another one after he was orphaned. True, Kaoru, Sano, Yahiko and him weren't related by blood, but they shared bonds deeper than other real families had. And Kaoru was the reason he now had a family. 

He could distinctly remember the day he first met her as if it happened yesterday. Her calling him Battousai and leaping at him, him dodging her attack and landing on a rickety piece of wood making him lose his balance, a bucket landing on his head, making it hurt… it was all so clear to him. 

He didn't expect her to offer the dojo to him as a place to stay after he saved her from Hiruma Gohei. He was even more surprised when she gave her shelter after the bath incident. But he was most surprised when she asked him to stay after she knew about his true identity. 

-FLASHBACK- 

After defeating the impostor, Hiruma Gohei, the real Hitokiri Battousai turned his head apologetically at Kaoru, "Gomenasai Kaoru-dono. I didn't mean to hide it from you. Its just…" he looked at her wistfully, "I didn't want to tell you if it wasn't necessary. Well," he turned to leave, "take care…" 

"BAKA!!!" 

"Orooo…" the irritated scream made the hitokiri's eye's bulge. 

"Are you just going to walk away?" Kaoru sat up from the dojo floor, "How do you expect me to rebuild this dojo without you? Can't you just help me out a little? I told you that I don't care about people's past!" 

Battousai just smiled at her, "However, now that this incident is over, it's better that I go. You can finally clear away the disgrace from your school. If the real Battousai stays here, you'll lose everything."

"I'm not saying I want the Battousai to stay… I want you, the wanderer, to sta-" Kaoru promptly stooped herself by covering her mouth and turning away, "If you insist on going away… can't you at least tell me your name? Not the name of the legendary hitokiri… your real name…"

"Himura. Himura Kenshin."

"Kenshin…" Kaoru closed her eyes, "So why don't you be on your way now Kenshin?"

Kaoru's eyes suddenly opened upon hearing the doors of the dojo shut. Kaoru sighed, her head hanging low.

"I'm a little tired of wandering…" the voice reached Kaoru's ear, making her eyes widen.

She turned towards the door. And there was Kenshin, smiling contentedly.

"If you don't mind, Can I stay here for a while?"

At that, a cheerful smile painted itself on Kaoru's face as she walked towards Kenshin.

"I'm a bad cook…" Kenshin told Kaoru as he approached her, as if asking if he's sure of what she's doing.

"You're better than I am."

"I might accidentally peek into the bath…" Kenshin added, that adorable smile still pasted on his face.

"That's all right, if you do…"

Kaoru raised a fist and threw a punch right at Kenshin, hitting him hard right on the cheek.

"BAKA!!! I thought you were going to dodge it!"

"Orooo…"

-END FLASHBACK-

_Baby you've been good to me  
Oh, so much more that you could know, yeah, yeah  
I never thought that I would find  
Someone who's so sweet and kind  
Like you..._

From that moment on, he knew she was different. Her exuberance refreshed him, though he often thought that she was too trusting for her own good, even rash at times. But somehow, those were also her good points as a person, and it made her different.

Her thoughts and instincts were good. She knows what she's doing, even though to others, it might seem impulsive and irrational. She's one exceptional person who didn't care about dark pasts. Naïve she may be of the darkness of the world, her ideals, courage and kindness was like a beacon that lit up the hitokiri's soul and the rurouni's heart inside of him.

She was different. The freshness of her youth and her rare personality made her somewhat like a crystal, clear and multi-faceted. So clear that you can see right though her. She left her feelings and emotions in plain sight for everyone to see… Like a gem, she was strong, yet vulnerable, a precious crystal that you would want to protect.

_Please believe me when I say  
This time I won't run away  
I swear be all the heaven's stars above  
Now that I've found you  
I'm looking in the eyes of love_

Kaoru was his constant in this ever-changing world, an anchor to hold on to when the hitokiri inside of him threatens to surface, when he felt like being swept away by the constant bouts of guilt and feelings of unworthiness. The one time he thought she was dead devastated him. He felt lost, confused and helpless. Without her, he had nothing. The mere thought of his failure to protect her came slicing though his heart like a cold knife.

When he learned of the hoax, he swore that he would always do his best to protect her and never to leave her.

He had everything he could ask for in life. He had his friends and he had her.

_Looking in the eyes of love...  
I can see forever, yeah...  
I can see you and me  
Walking in this world together _

Kaoru felt Kenshin's grip tighten around her. Kaoru frowned and asked softly, "Kenshin… daijobou?" 

"Aa," she heard him whisper in reply, " I'm fine koishii." 

Kaoru thought that he sounded well enough but it's never too much to be cautious, "Are you sure?" she pried at him. 

Kenshin let out an amused laugh, "Sure I'm sure. I was just looking back at the past." 

In his mind, Kenshin was remembering him and Kaoru tying the knot, sharing a kiss, and finally Kaoru giving birth to their son, Kenji. The last one was truly memorable. 

-FLASHBACK- 

it was afternoon when Kaoru had her first contraction and Megumicame quickly after being fetched by Yahiko. Outside the room where Kaoru was having labor, Yahiko, Sano and the redhead father were waiting anxiously. A few minutes later, a loud shout of "KENSHIN!!!" rang across the dojo, then came the sound of two women arguing. 

A moment later, Megumi came out and asked for Kenshin to go inside the room. 

"Careful," Megumi told him before they entered, "I think she'd love to inflict pain right now." 

Kenshin swallowed nervously before he knelt dutifully at Kaoru's side.

Kaoru's face was beaded with sweat. Feeling her husband's presence, she quickly reached out to grasp his hand.

She screamed as another contraction hit her, "HIMURA KENSHIN! I WILL NEVER LET YOU TOUCH ME AGAIN!!!"

When it was time to push, Kenshin tried to smile despite the throbbing pain he felt on his hand and encourage Kaoru, "C'mon koishii, this couldn't be any harder than kunjetsu."

Kenshin's expression was priceless as Kaoru reached out both hands, one to squeeze his palm and the other to pull at his flaming locks.

"DON'T YOU KOISHII ME YOU BAKA!" she pulled at him until they were face to face, "It may not be as HARD as kunjetsu, but imagine THIS. The pain is even MORE than having EVERY HITTEN MITSURUGI RYUU technique hurled at YOU at TWICE the FORCE and SPEED, "she hissed at him, emphasizing some words for effect, "so DON"T you sweet talk me with that kunjetsu thingie if you don't want ME to BREAK EVERY BONE IN YOUr BODY."

A few screams of kenshin and oro and a few more broken fingers later, a child's wail was heard as Megumi announced the birth of their child.

-END FLASHBACK-

_Oh, my heart's found a hope...  
I've been dreaming of...  
Now that I've found you  
I'm looking in the eyes of love  _

In deed, they have been through a lot and he was certain there'd be more challenges ahead of them. But for now, they'd have to take a step one at a time and savor their beautiful life together with a dose Yahiko, Sano, Kenji and the rest of the gang thrown in for good measure. 

_Looking in the eyes of love...  
I can see, I can see forever  
I can see you and me  
Walking in this world together  
  
Oh, my heart's found a hope  
I've been dreaming of...  
Now that I've found you, I've found you  
I'm looking in the eyes of love..., yeah _

"Kenshin…" Kaoru's voice broke his reveries 

"Aa…" 

"Demo, can we go back to sleep now?" 

Kenshin's lips curved into a smile as they both curled up into the futon, his eyes awash with love. _'There'd be no more nightmares tonight' _

"Aishiteru Kenshin," Kaoru murmured as she gave Kenshin a peck on the cheek before snuggling contentedly at his side. 

"Aishiteru Kaoru…" he mumbled softly before closing his eyes. No more than ever, he could say that he never regretted passing that certain street in Tokyo that one certain day in the Meiji Era year 1878, because that path he took had made all the difference in his life. 

-owari- 

4.25.01 

00.09 

A/N: How was that? Well I hope it was good enough. I know the flashbacks aren't that particularly accurate, especially the one about Kenshin's departure. I used the manga translations as a reference for that. Thanks for reading!


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